2008: A retrospective:


I think that's pretty much all that went down.

What in the Palins' genetics make Trig and Track and Tripp seem like reasonable names for human infants? Why not throw in a g and make it Trigg? Seriously if you name a kid Track you're kind of guaranteeing he's going to enlist.

These are like the names that pregnant hippies on morphine named their kids in the 60s, except they sound like they just picked words from a hunting magazine, at random.

The Palins: the new hippies, except they hunt.

I wrote this for the derp Greece blog I had to take part in.

"Oυζερί Σταύρος"

Since Myste got into generalities about Greek food, I would like to go into specifics.

Our island "excursion" (as it is now being called) was a series of unfamiliar leaps across puddles to various rocks in a big puddle called the Aegean. I had not been in this puddle before, and the Ferrie Algorithm became a very reliable method of gauging the potential quality of cuisine.

There are times, however, when one needs to be less systematic in choosing a meal. Numbers and floor patterns can often muddle the more intuitive sense of a good meal in waiting.

In a city that has steadily shrunk since September 2, I am only mildly hesitant in saying that the best food in Athens is made by a man named Stavros who has gray hair and likes to bet.

His taverna nests on a V-intersection just two blocks from the Panathanaiko Stadium, one of the premier tourist attractions in Athens, and the topic of my first post. The street is lit the color of rotten peach and peppered with fish-eager cats. Ouzeri Stavros is initially very disconcerting, especially for an herbivore. The only edibles visible upon entrance are deceased marine life: kalamari, salmon, et. al. Ask about vegetables (hortas) and an offer persists for "beefsteak." A menu exists, but I don't think most people use it; they have been there before, know what can be had, what they are getting. There must be one copy for the entire restaurant. Sit down with a table of six, and you will leisurely pass around one two-page laminated menu which must be mulled over, eagerly, in shifts.

Bread is an assumption, and it damn well better be. We want it. Don't dare suppose otherwise. Smother it with oil and burn it on the edges.

Every night we get something special on the house, either as a thanks, or standard hospitality. The first night: watermelon and wine, then chocolate cake that competes with your finest dreams.

Upon every arrival, usually with a new segment of our group, we greet Stavros with a grin and a some broken Greek. He sets our table, and watches the futbol game as Dora takes our orders for bread, wine, and fried vegetables. A night at Stavros is never an early one. They are not in a hurry. If you are, why have you come?

The regulars at Stavros' are always willing to talk, because, despite their proximity to snapshot-town, we are some of the only foreigners who come. Nobody told Fodor's about Stavros. I hope they don't.

Fleet Foxes - A Take Away Show from La Blogotheque on Vimeo.

Nepotism? In American politics? No.

"George W. Bush began his presidency with the worst terrorist attack on American soil and he is ending it with the worst financial crisis since the Great Depression."

yeesh

"Historians say McCain camp not sleaziest"

Try 1800.

Also, this is a brilliant headline.

Also:

Sarah Palin: reminding women everywhere of that time the job they should have had went to the under-qualified hot chick*.



*Sarah Palin is not hot.

Does vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin know how to interior decorate or does vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin know how to interior decorate?

“As for that VP talk all the time, I’ll tell you, I still can’t answer that question until somebody answers for me what is it exactly that the VP does every day?”

Why I read the Economist's blog:

9:05: Wow. Apparently a lot of people in the crowd there miss the 90s—when Pavement was still together, an edgy company with a name and no product or revenue model could have a larger market cap than Buick, and our random military interventions unsupported by any vital national interest were at least one-night stands.

Bill Clinton sounds like he has a watermelon jolly rancher in his mouth.

Well let me just say I thought it might be neat to get the vp text message. What I expected was to get the news at work and to know it before NPR reported it. I did not anticipate being woken up at 314 in the morning to hear about Joe Biden. Apparently, the story leaked over night and they didn't want to wait until a reasonable hour and, thereby, look like a bunch of assholes. But I have to say: slops!

Slops, Obama VP text message announcement gimmick. Sloppy.

Biden does not get me fired up but very little could at this point: who is the least wealthiest et cetera.

I saw Joe Biden at a bar in Iowa at 8 in the morning on the day of the Caucus. I was very tired.

After he spoke I chatted him up briefly because we had talked about his federalism plan for Iraq in one of my classes. Basically, I said to Joe that I was refreshed to hear his proposals because I think that ethnic/religious conflicts/cleavages exist in the context of the systems in which they exist, and that policy people need to understand that it is not just that a democracy is a democracy is a democracy.

"That's it! You get it, buddy!" Joe said.

So to reiterate, the head of the ticket hugged me, and the bottom of the ticket thinks I'm smart.

One time I shook John McCain's hand when he was looking for the bathroom.

Best-executed album art of the decade.

Current spin: "One Fine Day"

"A Georgian woman prays during Sunday mass in Matskhovris Karis Church in Zugdidi, a major town in western Georgia, August 17, 2008. Russia's Defence Ministry said on Sunday it had not yet begun withdrawing troops from Georgia's breakaway region of South Ossetia.

REUTERS/Umit Bektas"

Has anyone heard anything about the US Mens Swimming team lately?

How about that Phelps character?

Watch out for the gypsy children in electric dresses they're insane. I hear they live in crematoriums and smoke your remains.

1. Reckoner
2. Optimistic
3. There There
4. 15 Step
5. Kid A
6. Nude
7. All I Need
8. The Gloaming
9. National Anthem
10. Videotape
11. Jigsaw Falling Into Place
12. The Bends
13. Faust Arp
14. Weird Fishes/Arpeggi
15. Everything In Its Right Place
16. Exit Music (for a film)
17. Bodysnatchers

18. House of Cards
19. I Might Be Wrong
20. Paranoid Android
21. Wolf at the Door
22. How To Disappear Completely


23. Cymbal Rush
24. Karma Police
25. Idioteque

I was going to write a little something about how the Clash of Civilizations was probably wrong; that not much has changed since the Cold War in the sense that the US, Russia, and China are probably going to dominate global politics in roughly the pattern as the previous half century. The 90s were a hiccup.

But I am tired, so take from that what you will.

Suffice it to say that I am sick of: michael phelps, "break-away region," rain, "these" olympics, any olympics, apple products.

I am not sick of: kurt vonnegut, bob dylan, bananas, balms.

Disproportionate

Any body else not sure about that anthrax guy?
Like, they didn't do handwriting analysis, and they say his motive for sending letters to Daschle and Leahy was that he was catholic and they were pro choice, but his letters said nothing about abortion, only
"09-11-01
YOU CAN NOT STOP US.
WE HAVE THIS ANTHRAX.
YOU DIE NOW.
ARE YOU AFRAID?
DEATH TO AMERICA.
DEATH TO ISRAEL.
ALLAH IS GREAT."
Right. Damn abortionists.

Also what is this "Amerithrax" bullshit, DOJ?

I'll be skeptical if I want to.

Barack Obama on slavery and the Constitution, in September of 2001 (never || forget)

Elect this man.

Barack Obama's syllabus

"One final note: you'll see that much of the material has been marked up. I apologize for not giving you cleaner copies--it's a consequence of not having a teaching assistant. (On the other hand, my wife tells me she wouldn't have minded getting the professor's notations on her reading material when she was in law school.)"


Better than calling her a

"Every once in a while here at the Women for John McCain offices, we like to take a moment to pass around the Waterford candy dish of Percocet and Vicodin, kick off the old Christian Louboutins, and reflect on how lucky we are to support such a politically savvy candidate in John McCain. We’ve never seen such focus, precision, discipline, and clarity of message from a presidential campaign since at least Dole ‘96.

Speaking of which, in an expert demonstration of political stagecraft, the strategic minds of the McCain campaign’s advance team must have been working overtime last week, as John McCain shopped with one of Women for John McCain’s “plants” dispatched by the local Republican Party campaign office Wednesday, before showing the local common folk (bless their hearts!) he’s a “man of the people” by reading the price of milk from a cue card in a cheese-aisle press conference, with wrinkly plastic sacks of white cheese to his left, and cartons of reconstituted fruit juice to his right subliminally reminding viewers of the other oldest presidential nominee in American history, “Dole Dole Dole Dole Dole Dole.”

And Monday, the contrast couldn’t have been more stark, as Obama wore a dorky, Urkel-like headset and nerdy pair of glasses while he discussed the Iraq situation with with General Petraeus. Meanwhile, our next president of the United States, John Sidney McCain III, won the ‘looking presidential’ contest on the Election Scorecard by spending the day at the Bush family estates in Kennebunkport, Maine, riding in a golf cart and managing to look even older than our 41st president, George H.W. Bush. This race is property of number 44: John McCain. “Hands off” indeed, Obama!"

Women for John McCain

Also, newly found: www.mccainisreallyold.com

I swear the new york times just has a standard home and family to photograph for lifestyle stories. Seriously did they really need to got to Greenwich Connecticut to find out that kids use computers? Wouldn't a better photo be kids fighting over a mid 90s desk top in a small room with a broken piano and wall paper from the Burger Court?

Break out the Macbooks, kids! The Times is doing a story on reading!

Also, their last name is Sims. As in The Sims. The New York Times is profiling robots!

Here is a photo of a husky and a polar bear playing. The end.

My submission to the Republican Party Platform of 2008:

Find more! Use less!
The democrat party is blocking our efforts to perpetuate an over-subsidized industry bent on exploiting our dependence on a vile, destructive source of energy in return for profits larger than many gross domestic products. Gas prices are at an all-time high, and for the first time Americans are using less of it. We need to symbolically combat this issue--now!
Environment be damned! Americans (the real ones) are tired of paying far less than the real cost of oil! They want to pay far less than that!
The democrat party says we should invest in an infrastructure based on ecologically-friendly sources of energy which will also cost less in the long run! I say, damn forethought. Real Americans (the oil lobby) want superficial results, and they want it presently! By opening up our own land to more drilling, we will be able, in several years, to supplement our domestic reserves to the equivalent of about three months' worth; and in doing so, save what will be, after taking externalities and tax-breaks and loopholes into consideration, a trivial amount of money at the pumps.
I have heard some democrat partyists (the same who believe that we descended from prokaryotes and dinosaurs and Caligula) say that there are even ways of gradually reducing our use of fossil fuels, through technologies such as biofuels and hybrids, but Real Americans know that this is partisan pandering to the monolithic alternative energy lobby and electric-limousine Maoists like Iraq Hussein Osama.
I believe that John McClane, the hero from the "Die Hard" movies, will make an excellent president, even if he did age a lot since "Live Free or Die Hard;" whatever he can still remember his name and where he keeps his semi.
Keep giving us gas until we run out, because, fuck it! Washington is broken! John "Curtis LeMay" McClane for president or we're fucked!

The most needlessly long mix on the planet. Derp, I know. Fuck it. 4 Sections:

[The first]
The Chill Air - Brian Eno
Hanging on a Star- Nick Drake
Fear No Pain- WIlly Mason
Waiting for the Kid to Come Out- Spoon
Mama, Won't You Keep Them Castles in the Air and Burning?- Clap Your Hands Say Yeah
Pocket Knife- PJ Harvey
B+A- The Beta Band
I Only Said- My Bloody Valentine
Mobile Parts 1 and 2- Glenn Kotche
Mobile Part 3- Glenn Kotche
There's Hell in Hello, But More in Goodbye- Jim O'Rourke
They Never Got You- Spoon
Gospel- The National
Here- Pavement
One Life Away- M. Ward

[S&G curveball side two]
El Condor Pasa (If I Could)- Simon & G
Fools- The Dodos
Gravity Rides Everything- Modest Mouse
Get Behind the Mule- Tom Waits
Debaser- Pixies
Friction- Television
Quincy Punk Episode- Spoon
Wash Off (first sketch)- Deerhunter
Ripped Knees- No Age
Parallel or Together?- Ted Leo
Dog's Got a Bone- The Beta Band

[Sensitive feelings part 3]
Merchants of Soul- Spoon
Polar Opposites- Modest Mouse
Boy, What a Night- Lee Morgan
In a Sentimental Mood- Duke Ellington and John Coltrane
Rain- Nick Drake
The Purple Bottle- Animal Collective
The Season- The Dodos
Undeclared- The Dodos
God- The Dodos
Frankie's Gun!- The Felice Brothers
Song to Woody- Bob Dylan
Will Is My Friend- Devendra Banhart

[the last one]
I Could Be Underground- Spoon
Long Snake Moan- PJ H
Heatherwood- Deerhunter
Rain on Tin- Sonic Youth
Shore Leave- Tom Waits
Morning Bell/Amnesiac- Radiohead
Octet- Deerhunter
It's All Blooming Now Mt. Heart Attack- Liars
Wash the Day- TV on the Radio
Poor Places- Wilco
Reservations- Wilco
Carrot Rope- Pavement

Is it just me, or have a lot of people been getting tagged with this war crimes shit lately?

Also:

SAWYER: Do you agree the situation in Afghanistan is "precarious and urgent"?
McCAIN: Well, I think it's very serious. I think --
SAWYER: Not "precarious and urgent"?
McCAIN: -- it's a serious situation. Oh, I don't know exactly whether -- run through the vocabulary, but it's a very -- it's a serious situation. And -- but there's a lot of things we need to do. We have a lot of work to do, and I'm afraid that it's a very hard struggle, particularly given the situation on the Iraq-Pakistan border. And I would not announce that I'm going to attack Pakistan, as Senator Obama did when he was during his campaign. But most importantly, he railed against, voted against, and said the surge wouldn't work. He said it wouldn't work and couldn't work, and has failed to acknowledge it did work and we have succeeded. Thank God.
SAWYER: I can't let you leave, Senator McCain, this morning without making one more valiant attempt at the vice presidential question. Can you tell us anything new about your timetable and how many people are on your list right now?
----

McCain says Iraq and Pakistan share a border, and Diane Sawyer goes veepstakes veepstakes veepstakes!!

I think we know which Diane is Queen of the interview.

Re "Obama would sell us out," (Monitor letter, July 12):

John McCain is a white politician. If he wins, I hope it not will be due solely to the fact that he is white and has a military background, a purported qualification that sits well with those too unaware to consider that there may be other prerequisites for the presidency.

I believe the author was a little too swift in passing judgment on our presidential candidates: "[John McCain] loves his country more than political power." In fact, when McCain joined the Senate, passing at a likely chance to be a Navy admiral, Barack Obama worked with a community organization - a church-based one to boot - where he helped less-fortunate Americans get job training, prepare for college, and fought for tenants' rights. While McCain was running for reelection shortly after coming under fire for receiving $100,000 from Charles Keating (a savings and loan crook), Obama led a voter-registration effort that added over 100,000 African Americans to the rolls in Illinois.

Don't let Obama's skin color and speaking ability be your only reasons for voting for him. Don't vote for McCain just because he served our country bravely in war, either. Think carefully about why you support whomever you may support and debate your lunatic friends and coworkers on it. Don't let this year's election be remembered as a series of televised verbal slip-ups followed by feigned outrage and swift retractions. Elevate the discourse.

Ry Amidon
Concord
link

Consider:

Barack Obama
Barack Osama
Iraq Obama*
Iraq Osama

McCain is lucky because really the only potential name mix-up is with the hero from the Die Hard films.
Yipee kai-yay motherfucker.



*I heard this one on the radio today.

The very fact that people are so pissed off about this proves it right. If there weren't so many people taking these ludicrous rumors so seriously, there would be nothing to denounce. No source of outrage. It also further suggests the absurdity of this electoral season.

A summation of the 2008 presidential campaign:

Public slip-up by candidate or surrogate,
Feigned outrage at slip-up by media/opposing candidate (and logically, the general public, vicariously),
Slip-uper apologizes to Meredith Viera, Charles Gibson, Anderson Cooper,
Campaign disowns slip-uper, slip-up; slip-uper does not speak for candidate, slip-up is not what this campaign is about; jobs, energy independence (& slip-ups) are what the American people care about
Repeat 3,000 times.
Barack Obama is black.
McCain wins, bombs Iran.

Oh, the locals:

Obama would sell us out, letter to the editor

Barack Obama is a slick, eloquent, elitist black politician. If he wins, it will because he is black and projects a messianic personality to those who are too ignorant to see the truth. It would be a shame on the Negro race if the first black elected president sold out America wholesale. This is what I believe Obama would do.

President Bush has gotten a bum wrap from the media and the public. The man has kept us free and safe and returned us to the position as the leader of the free world. He has also led us incrementally, as much as a president probably can, as a nation under God.

I am not a racist, though I believe in talking plainly. I could vote for a man like Clarence Thomas or perhaps Bill Cosby, if I knew more of his political views. I could vote for Condi Rice. But just to vote for someone because he's black and has an eloquent charisma and promises change (what kind of change do you think he's going to bring?) - this is just wrong.

Many will vote just for these reasons. Don't let it be you.

I could find a lot to complain about in John McCain, yet this I see: He loves his country more than political power, and he stands for what he believes even when it is not popular.

He looks pretty presidential to me. No façade.

JOHN DEMAKOWSKI

Franklin

[Concord Monitor]

I have submitted a response we'll see if it gets printed.

"FOR Keith and Tracy Tobias, the parents of three teenagers in La Quinta, Calif., turning an old workshop behind their house into a movie theater for their children was an obvious move. “We’re very social and our kids have grown up with that,” Ms. Tobias said. “We’re a party family.” In fact, the couple’s reasons had to do with more than their love of fun. The Tobiases were looking for a way to keep their children at home."

"For parents determined to stay on top of their children’s social lives, a rec room, fitted out with a movie theater, a Ping-Pong table and a video game area, seemed an ideal solution."


AHHHHHHHH!!!!
I am not even going to begin.

Iraq

Iran

[ny review of books]

"The report of my death is an exaggeration."

Mark Twain

And the man ABC News now describes as a "conservative icon" (8/22/01) in 1993 sang "Dixie" in an elevator to Carol Moseley-Braun, the first African-American woman elected to the Senate, bragging, "I'm going to make her cry. I'm going to sing Dixie until she cries." (Chicago Sun-Times, 8/5/93) [Fair]

Fuck you Jesse Helms.

Happy 4th of July

Happy 232nd birthday, Independent American State.

Text of the Declaration

See what Congress is up to.

The homepage of the United States government

Greg's List

Noam Chomsky's Website

And How to Clean your Coffee Maker

Most of all:

The sky is figuratively falling potentially someday.
1 in 10 chance of big asteroid hitting us this century
NASA has a tough time dealing with that, but it is tricky business.
here is their website on that
Asteroid 2004 FH, a 30- meter wide object, was discovered only 3 days before it came within 26000 miles of Earth, closer than the farthest satellites
And here is how to figure out, mathematically, how scared you should be.

Proposed maxims:
the complete destruction of the planet by an asteroid would not, in and of itself, be a negative thing.
deep impact was way better than armageddon

Some dude decided to go ahead and roll into a town in Missouri and say he was a federal drug enforcement officer and started busting people and kicking them in the head and telling them he didn't need a warrant because he worked for the federal government, and lord knows they can kick people in the head sans warrants. And so tha Miss surrah people figgered he musta been tellin the truth cuz they had applied for a federal RADIO GRANT. At least there's this:

When the call was placed, a woman — whose identity is unknown — answered with the words “multijurisdictional task force,” and said that the city’s request for federal services was under review, the mayor said. Mr. Schulte said he now suspects that Mr. Jakob adapted the nonexistent task force name from the “Beverly Hills Cop” movies starring Eddie Murphy.

Oh and he was a stand-up guy. I know you're surprised:

As it turned out, Mr. Jakob, who is married and lives near Washington, a small town not far from Gerald, filed for bankruptcy protection in 2003 when he owned a trucking company, and had, at 22, pleaded guilty in Illinois to a misdemeanor charge of criminal sex abuse of someone in their teens.

et cetera:

His hair was chopped short, residents recalled, and his stocky chest filled a black T-shirt he sometimes wore that read POLICE. They said he wore military-style boots, pants with pockets running down the legs and carried a badge (his lawyer said it was from a former job as a security guard in St. Louis). And his off-white Crown Victoria was decked out with police radios and internal flashing lights, residents said.

Derp, Missouri.

Derp.

[NYT]

Also, Cindy McCain looks a little high. That's all I'm saying. At least they coordinated their outfits.

Eighteen percent of Americans think the sun revolves around the earth, one poll has found.


aahhhhh!!!!!!

[nyT][

Committee mindfuck.

"Bush is a stubborn man. Well, without that stubbornness, that unwillingness to accept defeat on his watch, he never would have bucked the opposition to the surge.

Bush is an outrageously self-confident man. Well, without that self-confidence he never would have overruled his generals."

FSJODIdsfwef980sdf9&S&))&*EOURHSD:DAVIDBROOKSISAFUCKINGASSHOLE

[nyt[

Something is rotten in the Justice Department/Denmark/the DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE

(Story, though).

Derp.

This is, literally, the hugest hunk of shit I have ever seen.

"The democrat party."

..."And to be fair and balanced..."

Wait till the end.

"I remember being in Indianapolis covering the Indiana primary and a man came up to me and said he wasn’t going to vote for Senator Obama because he was very concerned about the comments made by Jeremiah Wright, Obama’s pastor. I said, “That’s interesting. As a reporter, I’m curious what comments particularly bothered you?” He said, “Well, I can’t think of any that come to mind, but I also read on the Internet that he’s a Muslim.” And I said, “Now wait a minute. You can’t have both. You can’t be offended by his Christian minister and then say he’s a Muslim. You’ve got to pick one.” "

Pretty good, Tim.

An Analysis of Ben Stein's Piece in the New York Times and Other Foolishness

"Yes, my father was able to socialize with the heads of the major corporations in America and live on an expense account the way they did, but it was always clear who was the boss. Yes, he got to fly first class, but it was always a struggle to be shown some respect by certain of his colleagues and he often considered quitting."

Oh, boo-hoo.

"I picture our kids bravely taking moral stands on global warming and the polar bears, refusing to “sell out,” get a job or learn anything useful. I think of what I could write to them about their parents’ work."

Wait, what? Global warming? Polar bears?

"Be smarter than Ben Stein ever was. Be a better person than I ever was."

How can we do that without Evolution?!

"Right now, today, thank your parents for working to support you....So start now, and make it a habit to be grateful to your parents. Say you’re grateful and mean it. Do it now, however young or old you are. Do it on Father’s Day, Mother’s Day, every day."

If we are supposed to thank them--and not just dad--every day, then why publish this just before Father's Day? And where is Ben Stein's mom in the story?

Is this news?

-------------------------
"Love of God and compassion and empathy leads you to a very glorious place, and science leads you to killing people." -Ben Stein

Yup, the Inquisition, Thirty Year's War, Jihad, and the Nine Crusades--LOVEFESTS, all of them.

Ben Stein, either host a game show or go to bed.

Paultards are now joined by Hilltards.

"1996 called, and it wants its crappy GeoCities “home page” back where it belongs, in 1996."

[Wonkette]

Facebook ads are targeted, so why does an adult male several years out of high school see this:also, generally, what the fuck?

TMI, NYT?

Douche Bags with the same-colored tie.

A premature op-ed by Maureen Dowd

Thank you, Economist, for referencing Radiohead.

"Every time a new endorsement was announced at the Obama headquarters in Chicago, campaign workers interrupted with a booming round of applause. They are members of Mr. Obama’s team — a political start up — that is responsible for defeating one of the most tried and tested operations in Democratic politics."

Exactly five months ago, I was in Waverly Iowa "observing" the caucuses, the first electoral event of this primary campaign ( "observing"= I was drinking heavily and waking up too early). I was a vehement Dennis Kucinich supporter, finding no other candidate with whom I could find ideological compatibility. Senator Clinton seemed dry, institutional, familiar, and far too moderate. John Edwards was my mom's candidate, and also too moderate. Biden, Dodd, et. al were too senatorial and lacked apparent leadership capabilities. Senator Obama was too nouveau, not presidential.
Republicans were obvs not considered.

I still have the Kucinich "Strength Through Peace" bumper sticker on my car. This is somewhere in between "I'd rather be smashing imperialism" (pretty fucking cool) and "Attack Iraq? NO!" (too dated) in bumper sticker coolness.On January 2, five months and one day ago, this little programish-psuedo-scholarly-group I was a part of went to attend several events of candidates in the area (I am the first person listed here--note that I never did the derp blogging project).

Our first event was Bill Clinton (he may have held office previously, I will check wikipedia*). He was speaking at something called the Cattle Congress in some random town that, in fact, had many cows, though this was not a distinguishing characteristic. Our luggage got lost by the airline and all I had was my corduroy jacket, purple tie, shirt, and jeans (note: I had showered, but had not changed underwear or even socks). Here I am, pictured as such, with Bill's second secretary of Transportation Rodney Slater, who had excellent posture, now works for a lobbying firm, and invited us to visit him. Yes. We will visit your massive lobbying firm, vaguely familiar bureaucrat.

So there we were. Derp. I have since gotten a hair cut.

Bill was good, convincing. He had well-timed diction with a good blend of charming familiarity and stern assessments of his wife's policy achievements. For about twenty minutes, during the speech, I thought I almost could vote for this woman, who was married to this enchanting white haired southerner with whom I associated numerous fond childhood memories such as Kenan and Kel, budget surpluses, and meeting him once. His vitiating charisma soon wore off. Trying to get a handshake, a group of us yelled "we're from New Hampshire," which gets you blow jobs in Iowa in election years. He said "oh great," gave us brief but firm handshakes, and progressed behind a curtain where Eric Jackman and Robin Marra tried to sneak in and got kicked out by secret service. Slops.

Later that night we went to see Barack Obama.

It was about 3 degrees Fahrenheit. He going to speak in a gym at Waterloo East High School in Waterloo Iowa. I was mildly enthused, but more eager to get drunk/put on clean clothes. The round of events was more to satiate the appetites of political "junkies" who were eager to touch the candidates and get written proof of their having met them. I live in New Hampshire; seeing politicians is like an LA resident seeing Richard Dreyfuss at Best Buy.

Again. I wanted clean boxers and ale.

We got there plenty early and filed into the gym past the standard line of volunteers soliciting names and contact information to make sure we got out and caucused tomorrow. I wandered around the gym, which was already filling up with my book about space astronauts. I found a good spot near the candidate's entrance, because who doesn't want to see Richard Dreyfuss at Best Buy?

This story is taking too long and not all that exciting.

Michelle Obama came out and gave a great introduction for her husband, Barry who hauled ass past me to the stage, waving and grabbing random hands. I reached out to Michelle as she came to wait, a few feet from me: "that was inspiring," I said. It actually was, which was weird.

I don't even remember what Barack (Obama) said, but I could not handle it. For one thing, having been to a million of these things before, it was the most diverse crowd I had seen anywhere, and it was Iowa. An old lady next to me asked me to let her squeeze in. Two levels of bleachers were filled on either side. Black people asian people teenagers, the sorts of people who got automatic front seats at the Clinton event (for real) were everywhere.

It is difficult to articulate what it feels like to undergo an intrinsically motivating political experience; I had not had one before. I energetically supported Dean in 2004, but never really felt impressed. There was a lingering, unspoken inadequacy about him that I think a lot of us felt.


Maybe it was the heat, some aides had to open the gym doors near where I stood, seeping boreal atmosphere into the raucous swelter.

Maybe I had not had enough sleep. We arrived in Iowa about 4 the morning the night before, and I was roomed with serious snorer. Whatever.


I was struck. I do not know how to explain sans cliche, and I will not try here, even though it is not helpful to you, the one or two readers. Fuck it. By the end of his speech, I knew that I was going to vote for Barack Obama, and I also had a good feeling he was going to win Iowa the next day, and more than that if security was tight enough.

I did not attempt to explain this to the Gravel supporter who had accompanied me to the rope line (really a metal fencish thing but nobody can come up with a name for it so they call it a rope--it has not been a rope since James Garfield ran for office). You cannot explain anything to a Gravel supporter, but they can explain a lot to you, like the Pentagon Papers and stuff.

Obama was going to leave the same way he came, and I was going to tell him how I felt, damn it. My heart palpitated as he neared, shaking hands briskly and sharing few words with the crowd. I was literally the last member of the audience he would pass before exiting. I rehearsed our exchange in my head, and probably fucked it up, but Barack Obama walked near me and I extended my hand, speaking rapidly and loudly. Maybe I shouted:

"I'm from New Hampshire and I came here thinking [I held on to his hand and leaned in, letting him know this was important--growing up in NH attenuates one's ability to get a politician's attention]
I was going to vote for Kucinich but I think I'm going to vote for you next week."
"Thank you"

At this point we were in mid hand shake, and I was about to let go and move on and get pizza.

And then he hugged me. Barack Obama pulled me in for a hug, one hand still grasping mine, the other around my back. I obliged, and he let go, and while walking away, looked at me:
"That means a lot to me, it really does."

Reading that back, I cannot explain why that moment is of such personal importance, but I desperately, intuitively wanted this man to be president. I have since read more, examined his record, his positions, vetted the pastor bullshit, and feel roughly the same way, though I am a little bit exasperated.


Anticlimax:

I am not a political "junkie," though I do love heroin. I do not worship the pubic hair of presidential candidates. I have seen plenty of speeches, town halls, meet and greets. I have shaken hands, talked one on one and even hugged. I am not easily duped by such things, I think.

I hope he wins, is president, and is not shot. Is the RFK analogy too played out? Is he just as pragmatic and plotting as anyone else? Is he BLACK? I don't know.

It is now June 3rd. The Iowa Caucuses, which Barack Obama won, were on January 3rd. The caucus I attended had so many Obama supporters they had trouble finding a good way to count them. Today, he appears to have won the nomination for president, the first person of color to do so.

It is kind of a big deal.

*he was governor of US state Arkansas 1979 – 1981, 1983 – 1992.

Where's the dark energy?

I wanna know.

As per Wonkette this morning.

For some reason, I really like reading about breakfast.

Chill your scene.

Somebody is BITTER.

Where were these people in May 2007 when their legislature changed the date of their primary?
Go to bed. Everyone.

Words I am sick of:
"veepstakes"
"tween"

[Wonkette]

The answer is No.

You can learn a lot about the state of a campaign from its rope lines, and about the style of the person running. There is a giddy celebrity vibe on the Obama rope lines, with the candidate darting along. He is less of a hugger or a hand-shaker than he is a finger-pincher, spreading memories in half-second increments — about 20 voter touches per 30 seconds, on average. He rarely stops for autographs (his aides collect items and Mr. Obama later signs them for the aides to return).

He hugged me, fools.

[NYT]

"A truly successful hangover cure is probably going to be slow in coming. In the meantime, however, it is not easy to sympathize with the alcohol disciplinarians, so numerous, for example, in the United States. They seem to lack a sense of humor and, above all, the tragic sense of life. They appear not to know that many people have a lot that they’d like to forget. In the words of the English aphorist William Bolitho, “The shortest way out of Manchester is . . . a bottle of Gordon’s gin,” and if that relief is temporary the reformers would be hard put to offer a more lasting solution. Also questionable is the moral emphasis of the temperance folk, their belief that drinking is a lapse, a sin, as if getting to work on time, or living a hundred years, were the crown of life. They forget alcohol’s relationship to camaraderie, sharing, toasts. Those, too, are moral matters. Even hangovers are related to social comforts. Alcohol investigators describe the bad things that people do on the morning after. According to Genevieve Ames and her research team at the Prevention Research Center, in Berkeley, hungover assembly-line workers are more likely to be criticized by their supervisors, to have disagreements with their co-workers, and to feel lousy. Apart from telling us what we already know, such findings are incomplete, because they do not talk about the jokes around the water cooler—the fellowship, the badge of honor. Yes, there are safer ways of gaining honor, but how available are they to most people?"

Amen.

[New Yorker]

Obama poetry.

Scene: A small, private New England college where seniors are celebrating their last nights of derpness. A young woman cascades out of her apartment towards an idling car. She holds a can, presumably bud light or equivalent, and yells:

"You're not taking my car I'm fiiine! I'm not gonna sit on no nigger's lap!"

Many Americans are still very, very racist.

The chief executive of the United States is no longer a mere constitutional officer charged with faithful execution of the laws. He is a soul nourisher, a hope giver, a living American talisman against hurricanes, terrorism, economic downturns, and spiritual malaise. He—or she—is the one who answers the phone at 3 a.m. to keep our children safe from harm. The modern president is America’s shrink, a social worker, our very own national talk show host. He’s also the Supreme Warlord of the Earth.

[Reason]

For the first time, neither major party's nominee was born in the continental United States. Six years later, Tom Friedman will write a best-selling book expressing the poignancy of this fact.

Sketchy.

Hahaha from a Washington Post account of a Clinton rally in West Virginia:

A better choice for Clinton might have been Harper's Ferry, just a few miles from here and a monument to brave but futile struggles. It was there, in 1859, that the anti-slavery rebel John Brown captured the federal armory -- only to be captured, tried and executed.

The signs of a last-minute event were everywhere. Security was minimal, and problems with the sound system gave the Clinton staff fits; it didn't help that one of the men working the sound system wore an Obama T-shirt.

"I'm not turning it inside out," he said, when Clinton supporters protested. In the back of the crowd, a camera riser collapsed with a huge crash, sending bodies, coffee and cameras flying. "Metaphor?" a reporter asked as he picked himself off the ground? "Metaphor," confirmed another.

Hillary is done. Go to bed. Barack Obama is going to be president and he is black and that is worth noting and I hope he does not get shot at.

I mean just look at last names.

Kennedy
Johnson
Nixon
Ford
Carter
Reagan
Bush
Clinton
Bush
Obama

My first "live blog" since the lunar eclipse:

Obama is going to win Indiana! Win Indiana, Obama! Please! PLeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaasse!!!


1158: Hillary 50.9, Obama 49.1

91% reporting

FUCKING SHIT!!

Update 1208am

I think what this map means is that Hillary won many counties, but only by small margins, and Obama's wins were fewer, but greater at the county level.

If Obama takes it Hillary must drop out. She must. I am so sick of her. I hate it. Anybody else would have dropped out by now. Bill Clinton in 92 would have dropped out.

I will drink the Jonestown Koolaid if Obama does not take it. (more below)
1243: Hillary 50.7, Obama 49.3

95% reporting.

I think I will give Obama money when I get paid on Friday even though I will have none. Seriously. This is too important. I do not want historians to look back on this election and lament about how fucking stupid we were.

This is the most excited I have been about Barack Obama since I was in a high school gymnasium in Cedar Rapids, Iowa the night before the caucuses (and I told Obama that I was from New Hampshire and that I was going to vote for Kucinich but not any more and I attempted to shake his hand and he hugged me said "that means a lot to me, it really does" I had a purple tie on the end).

And the superdelegates are now where the fight is moving: after 50 nominating contests, there are only 6 left, with just 217 pledged delegates left to be elected, not enough to get either of them over the 2,025 threshold necessary to win the nomination.

[NYT]

Indiana has an open primary which means republicans can vote in the democratic primary and while I am sick as shit of this shit, I am wondering what that means for the outcome.

He told the K.S.U. students that their country was “deep in a malaise of the spirit” and suffering from “a deep crisis of confidence”—the kinds of phrases that no politician has dared utter since President Carter was pilloried for speaking of a national “crisis of confidence” during his notorious “malaise speech,” in which he never used the word “malaise.”

Before returning to the Kansas City airport, the Kennedy press corps stopped for a quick restaurant meal. Jimmy Breslin asked a table of reporters, “Do you think this guy has the stuff to go all the way?”

“Yes, of course he has the stuff to go all the way,” John J. Lindsay replied. “But he’s not going to go all the way. The reason is that somebody is going to shoot him. I know it and you know it. Just as sure as we’re sitting here somebody is going to shoot him. He’s out there now waiting for him And, please God, I don’t think we’ll have a country after it.”

[Vanity Fair]

If the set list looks like this in August, I will be very pleased.

Not derp:

Too soon and tooooo expensive.
Seriously.
Who is going to buy a 45 dollar book about the 2008 primaries? I would rather marinate Mike "Get AIDS and Die" Savage's book in Labatt Blue, put it in between a couple glazed donuts dipped in tabasco sauce, light the whole thing on fire, and then eat it every day until I am collecting social security scraps.

DERP

Here is what is wrong with the world. Kids on the other side of the world are able to get Winnie the Pooh t shirts but lack adequate food safety/health care/human rights. Fuck you, Tom Friedman.

Colossal Squid Blog!!!

The colossal squid specimen weighs 1,000 pounds, has 11 inch eyes--the largest of any animal--and has ovaries.
Do squid have their period?
Discuss.

Names and "blackberries" redacted (EDIT: also can we please talk about how it is redundant to say "please rsvp"--thanks):


Richard,

To answer your question...yes there will be free food at the reception.

Graduate Assistant

Marlin Fitzwater Center for Communication

Franklin Pierce University

Office: (603)

---

From: Richard Amidon
Sent: Tue 4/29/2008 10:48 AM
To:
Subject: RE: An invitation to the Engaging Students: First in the Nation students and staff

Will there be free food?


Ry


-----Original Message-----
From:
Sent: Fri 4/25/2008 4:00 PM
To: Richard Amidon
Cc:
Subject: An invitation to the Engaging Students: First in the Nation students and staff

Hello:



I want to extend a personal invitation to you all to The Fitzwater Center Honors on Monday, May 5, as we recognize Dana Perino for her leadership in the public discourse. As FIN Scholars, you will be recognized in the program and at the event. We will also be honoring an alumnus, a graduating senior and a high school media advisor. It promises to be a great evening, and we hope you can join us.



The event begins at 5 p.m. in Pierce Hall and a public reception follows at 6 p.m.



We will have reserved seating for you, so please rsvp to



Thank you,




The Marlin Fitzwater Center for Communication

Franklin Pierce University

40 University Drive, Rindge, New Hampshire 03461

Office: Blackberry: FAX:



"Educating leaders of conscience

in public communication"

Reading the opinion in Crawford . v. Marion County Election Board

Compare:

The State has identified several state interests that
arguably justify the burdens that SEA 483 imposes on
voters and potential voters. While petitioners argue that
the statute was actually motivated by partisan concerns
and dispute both the significance of the State’s interests
and the magnitude of any real threat to those interests,
they do not question the legitimacy of the interests the
State has identified. Each is unquestionably relevant to
the State’s interest in protecting the integrity and reliability
of the electoral process....



A photo identification requirement imposes some burdens on
voters that other methods of identification do not share.
For example, a voter may lose his photo identification,
may have his wallet stolen on the way to the polls, or may
not resemble the photo in the identification because he
recently grew a beard. Burdens of that sort arising from
life’s vagaries, however, are neither so serious nor so
frequent as to raise any question about the constitutionality
of SEA 483; the availability of the right to cast a provisional
ballot provides an adequate remedy for problems of
that character.

Am I right to see an inconsistency here? That the frequency or magnitude of voter fraud is not relevant in addressing the state's interest in preventing it, but that the frequency or magnitude of burdens on the voter are? I am probably wrong and have mixed feelings about this case and I need to read further.

I love Elizabeth Edwards:

Did you, for example, ever know a single fact about Joe Biden’s health care plan? Anything at all? But let me guess, you know Barack Obama’s bowling score. We are choosing a president, the next leader of the free world. We are not buying soap, and we are not choosing a court clerk with primarily administrative duties.

What’s more, the news media cut candidates like Joe Biden out of the process even before they got started. Just to be clear: I’m not talking about my husband. I’m referring to other worthy Democratic contenders. Few people even had the chance to find out about Joe Biden’s health care plan before he was literally forced from the race by the news blackout that depressed his poll numbers, which in turn depressed his fund-raising.

And it’s not as if people didn’t want this information. In focus groups that I attended or followed after debates, Joe Biden would regularly be the object of praise and interest: “I want to know more about Senator Biden,” participants would say.

But it was not to be. Indeed, the Biden campaign was covered more for its missteps than anything else. Chris Dodd, also a serious candidate with a distinguished record, received much the same treatment. I suspect that there was more coverage of the burglary at his campaign office in Hartford than of any other single event during his run other than his entering and leaving the campaign.

Who is responsible for the veil of silence over Senator Biden? Or Senator Dodd? Or Gov. Tom Vilsack? Or Senator Sam Brownback on the Republican side?

The decision was probably made by the same people who decided that Fred Thompson was a serious candidate. Articles purporting to be news spent thousands upon thousands of words contemplating whether he would enter the race, to the point that before he even entered, he was running second in the national polls for the Republican nomination. Second place! And he had not done or said anything that would allow anyone to conclude he was a serious candidate. A major weekly news magazine put Mr. Thompson on its cover, asking — honestly! — whether the absence of a serious campaign and commitment to raising money or getting his policies out was itself a strategy.

[NYT]

I was looking at this article in the Times magazine and was struck by what seemed to be the proliferation of exclamation points (31). Another piece of comparable length about Chris Matthews from a few weeks ago boasted 4 (three of which were: "Ha!"). So what I am wondering is:

a) how do journalists decide when interviewing/taking notes? where is the line between a period and an exclamation point? this seems like it can drastically alter the meaning of a quote (“The fish is not going to eat itself!” vs. “The fish is not going to eat itself.")

b) what is with all the exclamation points in the gay lifestyle article? are they simply more exclamatory as a group, New York Times Magazine?

A song is up.

I don't care.

Also, I was vaguely considering writing about Pennsylvania but, fuck it.

I'm in a new band. We are called Graph. I think you would like it. We don't have music up yet but we will soon.

Things I learned this morning:

-Vatican City is the only absolute monarchy in Europe and has the highest per capita crime rate on the planet.

-Not eating meat can reduce your carbon footprint up to a quarter.

-Fruit is delicious.