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22.8.07
9.8.07
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/08/08/AR2007080802112.html?hpid=topnews
The inevitable consequence of the primary campaign frenzy beginning so early this season is that the primaries themselves will get pushed earlier and earlier. The incentives to do so are at least twofold: 1) A state with an earlier primary receives more prestige from press coverage and the all-important appearance of being "relevant;" the states attempt to prove their significance on the national political scene by simple changes on the calendar, thus proving how arbitrary any such importance is. 2) All sorts of money gets dumped in to a key state's economy (i.e. Iowa, New Hampshire) during primary season: TV ads, paid staff, increased restaurant revenue, etc. So now, South Carolina is telling us that it is so fucking important that it will hold its primary on January 19th, and this was brought about by Florida trying to push its primary ahead of South Carolina's by 4 days; the Post says this is part of the competition to be "First in the South." First in the South?
So, there are obvious ramifications for the New Hampshire primary (first in the nation, assholes), which had a tentative date of January 22nd. Frankly, guys, New Hampshire just doesn't give a fuck. Last election the primary was on the 27th and in 2000, February 1st. In fact, the state law is that the primary must always be first in the country. (Here's an interesting thought: what if South Carolina or Florida passed such a law? Neat!). Universally beloved Secretary of State Bill Gardner has promised not to make a decision until fall, probably, but we know it will be January 12th or earlier.
This is stupid.
Another inevitable consequence of the earlier and earlier frenzy of primary bullcrap is voter apathy. This Gallup Poll shows that the percent of democrats "extremely likely" to vote in their primary went down 6 points from July, and the percent "not likely" to vote at all increased by 2. This is a small sample, and not a very big shift, but it's early still. We still have at least four more months (god willing) and 67 debates/forums and 93,642 TV commercials and 890 mailings and 133canvassers until the first primary actually happens; then, it will presumably all be decided on February 5th, when 1433 delegates (democratic primary) and like a million states vote. So then, that's only about 6 months until the convention (which will most likely not be decisive), and then another 3 months until the actual election. As WMUR painfully reminds us, there are still 453 days until the actual election. 453 DAYS!
My guess is we have about 500 days until the 2012 Iowa Caucus.
Deep breaths...
The inevitable consequence of the primary campaign frenzy beginning so early this season is that the primaries themselves will get pushed earlier and earlier. The incentives to do so are at least twofold: 1) A state with an earlier primary receives more prestige from press coverage and the all-important appearance of being "relevant;" the states attempt to prove their significance on the national political scene by simple changes on the calendar, thus proving how arbitrary any such importance is. 2) All sorts of money gets dumped in to a key state's economy (i.e. Iowa, New Hampshire) during primary season: TV ads, paid staff, increased restaurant revenue, etc. So now, South Carolina is telling us that it is so fucking important that it will hold its primary on January 19th, and this was brought about by Florida trying to push its primary ahead of South Carolina's by 4 days; the Post says this is part of the competition to be "First in the South." First in the South?
So, there are obvious ramifications for the New Hampshire primary (first in the nation, assholes), which had a tentative date of January 22nd. Frankly, guys, New Hampshire just doesn't give a fuck. Last election the primary was on the 27th and in 2000, February 1st. In fact, the state law is that the primary must always be first in the country. (Here's an interesting thought: what if South Carolina or Florida passed such a law? Neat!). Universally beloved Secretary of State Bill Gardner has promised not to make a decision until fall, probably, but we know it will be January 12th or earlier.
This is stupid.
Another inevitable consequence of the earlier and earlier frenzy of primary bullcrap is voter apathy. This Gallup Poll shows that the percent of democrats "extremely likely" to vote in their primary went down 6 points from July, and the percent "not likely" to vote at all increased by 2. This is a small sample, and not a very big shift, but it's early still. We still have at least four more months (god willing) and 67 debates/forums and 93,642 TV commercials and 890 mailings and 133canvassers until the first primary actually happens; then, it will presumably all be decided on February 5th, when 1433 delegates (democratic primary) and like a million states vote. So then, that's only about 6 months until the convention (which will most likely not be decisive), and then another 3 months until the actual election. As WMUR painfully reminds us, there are still 453 days until the actual election. 453 DAYS!
My guess is we have about 500 days until the 2012 Iowa Caucus.
Deep breaths...
8.8.07
Ice Cube Tray Relativity: the Special and the General Theory
Introduction
So, I just finished reading Walter Isaacson's biography of Einstein, and I realized that to be an important person like Einstein or Copernicus or Barry Bonds, one needs to come up with a revolutionary scientific theory with a sweeping, world-changing impact. You need to toss out the old norms and break free from the chains of the dominating conventional wisdom to produce an all-encompassing work of scientific--nay, philosophical genius. The Relativity Theory, De Revolutionibus Orbium Coelestium, and the 756th homer procured by steroids all defied the status quo of absolute space-time, geocentrism, and Hank Aaron (and good, clean sportsmanship), respectively.
Well, needless to say, I have arrived at my own factious theory. I call it Ice Cube Tray Relativity.
Historically, the wonted approach to filling an ice cube tray has been to turn on the water faucet at a fairly quick rate and move the tray around 'neath the flow until each cube has reached its capacity. This method is flawed in that it often, through faulty measurement and impatience on the part of the filler, results in uneven and over-flowed cubes with water breaching the individual cubes.
Hypothesis
Einstein dreamed up Special Relativity whilst working as a patent clerk in Bern; I discovered my great theory will festering about in the homes of poor, misinformed people filling their ice trays in a misconceived, wanton manner. There are two major flaws in the conventional approach. 1) An overflowed tray will make individual cubes harder to break apart from what is now one whole block of ice, producing dropped cubes and the subsequent weird, wet spots on the kitchen floor. 2) Uneven filling will lead to an inconsistency in cube size; some cubes will be smaller-than-normal, while others will be obtusely large; this may result in quicker tray depletion and expedite the need for refilling as more cubes will be needed to compensate for their diminutive volume.
Instead, I have my own photo-illustrated approach which I predict will prevent these problems. A little more patience, tact, and attentiveness on the part of the person filling the tray will produce rewarding results for your next chilled beverage experience/peculiar sexual ritual. The process can be broken down into steps.
1) With an empty ice tray in hand, turn on a cold water faucet to a slow flow. It should not be dripping, but if the water is bubbly and white it is too fast.
2) Insert the tray below the running water at a slight tilt, maybe 10 degrees or so, and allow the water to flow over each cube while keeping the tray still, and the water from the faucet over the same general area of the tray. Think: the watertight bulkheads overflowing on the RMS Titanic. This is more or less the effect that you should try to achieve, but preferably without drowning fifteen hundred people.
3) Maintain this process, letting the water spread downward. When you have between 5 and 5 1/2 cube's empty space remaining, remove the tray from beneath the water and turn off the faucet.
4) With both hands, while still over the sink to avoid spills, tilt the tray as necessary until all the cubes are filled and even.
Prediction
When the water has evened out, you should end up with a tray with evenly filled, yet not overflowing cubes.
Conclusion
This was a massive waste of a small part of my valuable youth.
Introduction
So, I just finished reading Walter Isaacson's biography of Einstein, and I realized that to be an important person like Einstein or Copernicus or Barry Bonds, one needs to come up with a revolutionary scientific theory with a sweeping, world-changing impact. You need to toss out the old norms and break free from the chains of the dominating conventional wisdom to produce an all-encompassing work of scientific--nay, philosophical genius. The Relativity Theory, De Revolutionibus Orbium Coelestium, and the 756th homer procured by steroids all defied the status quo of absolute space-time, geocentrism, and Hank Aaron (and good, clean sportsmanship), respectively.
Well, needless to say, I have arrived at my own factious theory. I call it Ice Cube Tray Relativity.
Historically, the wonted approach to filling an ice cube tray has been to turn on the water faucet at a fairly quick rate and move the tray around 'neath the flow until each cube has reached its capacity. This method is flawed in that it often, through faulty measurement and impatience on the part of the filler, results in uneven and over-flowed cubes with water breaching the individual cubes.
Hypothesis
Einstein dreamed up Special Relativity whilst working as a patent clerk in Bern; I discovered my great theory will festering about in the homes of poor, misinformed people filling their ice trays in a misconceived, wanton manner. There are two major flaws in the conventional approach. 1) An overflowed tray will make individual cubes harder to break apart from what is now one whole block of ice, producing dropped cubes and the subsequent weird, wet spots on the kitchen floor. 2) Uneven filling will lead to an inconsistency in cube size; some cubes will be smaller-than-normal, while others will be obtusely large; this may result in quicker tray depletion and expedite the need for refilling as more cubes will be needed to compensate for their diminutive volume.
Instead, I have my own photo-illustrated approach which I predict will prevent these problems. A little more patience, tact, and attentiveness on the part of the person filling the tray will produce rewarding results for your next chilled beverage experience/peculiar sexual ritual. The process can be broken down into steps.
1) With an empty ice tray in hand, turn on a cold water faucet to a slow flow. It should not be dripping, but if the water is bubbly and white it is too fast.
2) Insert the tray below the running water at a slight tilt, maybe 10 degrees or so, and allow the water to flow over each cube while keeping the tray still, and the water from the faucet over the same general area of the tray. Think: the watertight bulkheads overflowing on the RMS Titanic. This is more or less the effect that you should try to achieve, but preferably without drowning fifteen hundred people.
3) Maintain this process, letting the water spread downward. When you have between 5 and 5 1/2 cube's empty space remaining, remove the tray from beneath the water and turn off the faucet.
4) With both hands, while still over the sink to avoid spills, tilt the tray as necessary until all the cubes are filled and even.
Prediction
When the water has evened out, you should end up with a tray with evenly filled, yet not overflowing cubes.
Conclusion
This was a massive waste of a small part of my valuable youth.
3.8.07
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