My submission to the Republican Party Platform of 2008:

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The democrat party is blocking our efforts to perpetuate an over-subsidized industry bent on exploiting our dependence on a vile, destructive source of energy in return for profits larger than many gross domestic products. Gas prices are at an all-time high, and for the first time Americans are using less of it. We need to symbolically combat this issue--now!
Environment be damned! Americans (the real ones) are tired of paying far less than the real cost of oil! They want to pay far less than that!
The democrat party says we should invest in an infrastructure based on ecologically-friendly sources of energy which will also cost less in the long run! I say, damn forethought. Real Americans (the oil lobby) want superficial results, and they want it presently! By opening up our own land to more drilling, we will be able, in several years, to supplement our domestic reserves to the equivalent of about three months' worth; and in doing so, save what will be, after taking externalities and tax-breaks and loopholes into consideration, a trivial amount of money at the pumps.
I have heard some democrat partyists (the same who believe that we descended from prokaryotes and dinosaurs and Caligula) say that there are even ways of gradually reducing our use of fossil fuels, through technologies such as biofuels and hybrids, but Real Americans know that this is partisan pandering to the monolithic alternative energy lobby and electric-limousine Maoists like Iraq Hussein Osama.
I believe that John McClane, the hero from the "Die Hard" movies, will make an excellent president, even if he did age a lot since "Live Free or Die Hard;" whatever he can still remember his name and where he keeps his semi.
Keep giving us gas until we run out, because, fuck it! Washington is broken! John "Curtis LeMay" McClane for president or we're fucked!