Some dude decided to go ahead and roll into a town in Missouri and say he was a federal drug enforcement officer and started busting people and kicking them in the head and telling them he didn't need a warrant because he worked for the federal government, and lord knows they can kick people in the head sans warrants. And so tha Miss surrah people figgered he musta been tellin the truth cuz they had applied for a federal RADIO GRANT. At least there's this:

When the call was placed, a woman — whose identity is unknown — answered with the words “multijurisdictional task force,” and said that the city’s request for federal services was under review, the mayor said. Mr. Schulte said he now suspects that Mr. Jakob adapted the nonexistent task force name from the “Beverly Hills Cop” movies starring Eddie Murphy.

Oh and he was a stand-up guy. I know you're surprised:

As it turned out, Mr. Jakob, who is married and lives near Washington, a small town not far from Gerald, filed for bankruptcy protection in 2003 when he owned a trucking company, and had, at 22, pleaded guilty in Illinois to a misdemeanor charge of criminal sex abuse of someone in their teens.

et cetera:

His hair was chopped short, residents recalled, and his stocky chest filled a black T-shirt he sometimes wore that read POLICE. They said he wore military-style boots, pants with pockets running down the legs and carried a badge (his lawyer said it was from a former job as a security guard in St. Louis). And his off-white Crown Victoria was decked out with police radios and internal flashing lights, residents said.

Derp, Missouri.

Derp.

[NYT]

Also, Cindy McCain looks a little high. That's all I'm saying. At least they coordinated their outfits.

Eighteen percent of Americans think the sun revolves around the earth, one poll has found.


aahhhhh!!!!!!

[nyT][

Committee mindfuck.

"Bush is a stubborn man. Well, without that stubbornness, that unwillingness to accept defeat on his watch, he never would have bucked the opposition to the surge.

Bush is an outrageously self-confident man. Well, without that self-confidence he never would have overruled his generals."

FSJODIdsfwef980sdf9&S&))&*EOURHSD:DAVIDBROOKSISAFUCKINGASSHOLE

[nyt[

Something is rotten in the Justice Department/Denmark/the DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE

(Story, though).

Derp.

This is, literally, the hugest hunk of shit I have ever seen.

"The democrat party."

..."And to be fair and balanced..."

Wait till the end.

"I remember being in Indianapolis covering the Indiana primary and a man came up to me and said he wasn’t going to vote for Senator Obama because he was very concerned about the comments made by Jeremiah Wright, Obama’s pastor. I said, “That’s interesting. As a reporter, I’m curious what comments particularly bothered you?” He said, “Well, I can’t think of any that come to mind, but I also read on the Internet that he’s a Muslim.” And I said, “Now wait a minute. You can’t have both. You can’t be offended by his Christian minister and then say he’s a Muslim. You’ve got to pick one.” "

Pretty good, Tim.